{a bit swedish nature}

{Unfortunately this time just in English!}
Hello my Loves!
So, here we go - my first post about my Sweden adventure and what I've already experienced.
I shot these pictures actually in September, but as you might now, I never found the words to describe all the pictures I've made, all the experiences. Normally I don't get speechless so easily but it seems that every single day here just overwhelmed me. Now, after a few busy Christmas days, I have time to take a look back, to realise.
The thing is: Most of the time I gave you the impression, everything is perfect and that there were nearly no sad moments. The truth is, an exchange year without difficulties wouldn't be an exchange year. So, I want to be honest with you and don't write all the time about love, peace and harmony. Especially if there are some other exchange students who read this. I've read a lot of blogs from other exchange students before I made the decision to go for an exchange. Most of them wrote about all the wonderful things and I had a thrill of anticipation. Yeah, of course, it's better to tell about all the amazing stuff, but to forget the negative parts of it, build sometimes too high expectations for others, who plan to go on exchange. But since we've talked on the preparation camp from my organisation a lot about expectations, I've tried not to expect a rainbow-wonderland-world during my year.
So I would like to talk a bit about my hard times, because I've told you until now just about all sublime moments. {And give you a small impression of the swedish nature - look how beautiful it is!}

First, I have had already two hostfamily-changes. I had to my first hostfamily directly in the beginning not a good relationship. My expectations weren't so high but also not so low, to be honest. I didn't really know how to deal with this situation, 'cause of course, when you arrive are you full of positive energy and that was kind of a... setback. So I just tried to make the best out of it. And that's also a tip that I can give further to all future exchange students. If you are in a situation which doesn't make you happy, make yourself happy. The one and half month that I've stayed together with them wasn't alltime awful, because there were still school life and so on. There is always another side! And now, afterwards, I'm even thankful that I've made such experiences. Now I know how to handle with difficult stuff and that I can always count on lovely people like my area representative. Apropos my area representative: I guess, she's one of the wisest and most intelligent persons I've ever met. Her advice helped me a lot, especially when I told her, I wish I could have a "real second family" here in Sweden. Then she told me: "Family isn't just about parents and siblings. It's about friends, people, who you like to be with." At first, I couldn't believe what she means. By the time I thought much about it, I started to understand it. My swedish friends got so unbelievable important for my swedish life, but also for my life in general. And I've met truly amazing people, like other exchange students and people, which I would probably never have met in Austria. As Elise has said, family can be everyone. That learned me a lesson and I'm so thankful for it!

I hear myself saying "Daddy, I really hope, it doesn't come to a hostfamily change. Because I've no clue if I would be strong enough to manage all this by myself... and I won't get homesick!". An example how the austrian-lisa thinks. Well, from now on, I know it better. I didn't got so much homesick that I wanted to go back immediately. And I was actually strong enough to manage all this by myself - of course not alone but with the help of great people, like above already mentioned. One day, I think it was a friday, I called my area representative to tell her, that I can't and won't stay in and with this family one day longer. I've met my area rep a few times before, since me and a teacher on my school called her 3 weeks after I arrived. Like I said earlier, it was mostly from the beginning clear (for actually both me and my hostfamily, they told me that later) that it wouldn't work pretty well for a long time. And anyway, it wasn't thought that I stay there longer than two months 'cause they were just an Arrivalfamily. Elise picked me up on this friday afternoon because she meant distraction would be the best for me (since I cried almost all the time during those day).

So, she picked me up - just about one hour before we talked on the phone and decided that I'll move transitionally to her and her family. It was super spontaneous and I guess this hour between "get picked up" and "packing all my stuff" was one of the most exhausting times in my life. I packed all my stuff in my bags (at least I tried), said "Goodbye", settled the "offical things" with my organisation and left a letter together with some sweets on their table. It was good to leave. I'm super glad everything worked out so well and for all the support I got - from my organisation but as well from my hostfamily, because I thought, they will be super surprised and ask me a lot of things to which I didn't had an answer. But actually they were in a resigned mood and not that surprised like I expected. Their reaction was really good, because I didn't want to hurt them in any way and it seemed they kind of expected it. I'm sure it was the best solution for all of us. And I learned: To change hostfamily is not at all a thing to shame for.

I moved to my second hostfamily, the family of my area rep. They are seriously one of the most amazing people in the world! (And now they have gotten a little baby named Ellie!) But still, for me it was just a solution for at least 2 weeks - that was designated. Unfortunately it turned out that it's more difficult to find a new hostfamily for me. So I spend one and a half month with them. And it was actually the best makeshift I could have imagined. Still, I didn't want to feel at home, because I knew I'll move soon again. But if you live such a long time together with wonderful people you can't avoid the "at home feeling" at some point. School was constantly fantastic when I talked to my organisation. They told me, they will start searching in other areas in Sweden in two weeks. But weeks before, I've told them already that I won't change school - in no case.

It became sort of a race against time. I was so scared that I probably have to change school, because that was by then seriously the best thing here. I've told two teachers of mine about that and they supported me. In the meanwhile the family of my area rep suggested me I could stay at their place - at least until they have found a family, but even for the whole year - if I want. Actually, it didn't take long for me to decide. Although it sounds for everyone like a "Yes, I will stay" was it for me more clear, that I will move to my third family. I had a few reasons for this decision, and even though I didn't know what will expect me at my third hostfamily, I was attuned to move one more time. The only problem was: I still had no family. BUT, and I can't write a bigger BUT: One of my two marvelous teachers cared so much about me, that he posted it on facebook. I didn't even know something about it. And so it came, in just a few hours the post got shared and liked by hundred of his facebook-friends. Some interested families called my area rep and I just thought "Okay, from where come so suddenly all this calls?". Elise visited one of them on a Saturday in November and it seemed that it fits perfectly.

We decided that I'll move on next friday. I was super excited, because everything came so suddenly and I was just surprised. I asked her "Already so soon?" but it was kind of a wry expression, as it was planned to stay at her place just for two weeks and then it turned into six. I had a normal school week, of course I was super excited and told all my friends about it. They were so glad for me too that the search found an end! On Thursday after school I went to the place where my "new" hostmum works and talked with her just about a minute - 'cause of course, she had to work. On Friday afternoon I started packing all my stuff - again. I tried not to think about what will expect me, I was just in such a positive mood fulled with energy! I've packed everything more or less last minute - again. We sat in the car, driving on some road, talked a lot. And then, we arrived. I asked "Are we already here?" even though the ride took about one hour. I didn't thought I'll get nervous, because I didn't even have time to think about it. Everything went so fast - again. My hostmum opened the door, a second later I've met my hostdad for the first time. They were at least so nervous as I. She showed me the house and then it was time to say Goodbye. It felt like leaving from Austria, maybe even worse. It felt like leaving my home, my daily life. And yeah, actually I left everything what I was used to - again. I cried, they cried, we hugged for perceived minutes.

To be honest: I regretted in the first days my decision to reject the offer of my former hostfamily. It felt like a complete new start - again. After four days I've met my area rep again and she just gave me the advice to wait. To give it all time. Like all her advices before, this were the right words to the right moment. And I gave it time. It was the right decision. I love my new hostfamily, they really care about me and we understand each other very well. The days went by and that means I'm living here now also already since one and a half month. And the best thing, which I finally know: I will stay until my exchange ends!

Today, the 10th January 2015, I've reached a half of my "year". 150 days. Feels on one side good to be halfway "done" but on the other hand... I just want that time stops! Right now is everything perfect and Spring waits! (Okay, before I can enjoy the warm weather I've to go through the cold and dark swedish winter...) I'm happy everything went by like this. And there is still so much time over to experience new things! Oh, I'm super excited! My friends and I have made a huuuuge To-do List together, so it's time to check off every single point until I'll fly back...
Last but not least another wise advice from Elise: "Everything happens for a reason".